MEANWHILE IN AUSTRALIA
RABBITS MATING WITH RATS
TINY HERBIVOROUS BEARS
PLUSH TOYS MAGICALLY COME TO LIFE
WHAT THE FUCK
WALKING FEATHER DUSTERS
THE FUCK IS THIS IDEK BUT IT DESERVES A HUG
THE MOST FABULOUS BIRDS SINCE FLAMINGOS
WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS THING IT’S LIKE A DOG BRED WITH A MEERKAT
WELL IT’S PRETTY CUTE I G- JESUSFUCK
AND MORE LIZARDS
FUCK MAN EVERYWHERE HAS LIZARDS WHAT’S THE BIG D- WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK
AND WHATEVER THIS THING IS WILL FUCK UP A HONEY BADGER
WHAT YOU THINK CUZ IT’S LIKE 80% DESERT HERE WE DON’T GOT PENGUINS FUCK YOU WE GOT PENGUINS IN SWEATERS
HEY I THINK YOU SAW THIS ONE IN A MUSEUM ONCE
ALSO HEY ENJOY OUR BEAUTIFUL BEACHES ALSO THIS FUCKER
AND THIS GUY
AND THIS GUY WANTS TO KILL YOU TOO
AND HOLY FUCK LOOK AT THIS THING
JESUS CHRIST THEY COME IN POCKET VERSIONS
BACK TO THINGS THAT WANT YOU DEAD
WEREN’T EXPECTING THAT WERE YOU.
SO YEAH, COME VISIT AUSTRALIA.
WE’RE ALL FUCKING WAITING WITH OUR WEIRD SHIT.
And people say Pokemon aren’t real.
and here we see the mating ritual of the white tourist
Now tell me that fate doesn’t exist.
When I was in fifth grade I realized I liked girls but I was like “that’s a problem for another day” and literally forgot about it and then in like eleventh grade I was like “oh my god”
YOU PROCRASTINATED REALIZING YOUR SEXUALITY THAT’S IT YOU WIN YOU ARE THE QUEEN OF THE PROCRASTINATORS i bow to you
remember when we found out Neville Longbottom had bigger balls than anyone else in the HP series
remember how Dumbledore told us this in the very first book, but no one believed him
oh man aggressively ordering me to do something i’m already doing/planning to do is pretty much guaranteeing that i’m going to stop doing it and take the time to just stare at you with a half blank half incredulous expression on my face